I'm trying to better myself by having amore positive look on life. Most importantly not constantly thinking about the past. I cant change any of it. Its over and done with. What has happened, happened and there isnt anything i can do. Obviously things happen for a reason. Most days i am pretty good about remaining positive. Some days are a little tricky though. But that will happen. Life happens. Things are getting better every day. I'm alive, a survivor. I've gone through some rough times in my life but i will have to say that because of those things happening i am the person i am today. I am a mother or two wonderful beautiful boys. They are my life. There is a wonderful man in my life who i would do almost anything for. He means the world to me. He is my best friend. His grandparents have welcomed me with open arms into their lives. Which means so much to me, and am very thankful. They treat me like i am part of the family. Its one of the greatest feelings in the world. I have my differences with my family. It can be very difficult to deal with. Especially with what happened over the weekend. I could not believe what my mom asked me. I was actually offended. I am so tired of being accused of doing drugs to do drugs, or to stay thin. I am just thin, thats all. I'm not bulimic, i dont do meth or anything else like that and i dont take weight lose drugs either. I dont know how many more times i am going to have to explain myself about that. Anyways I am happy with where i am at(except for the lack of job part and that i dont have my own place). Life is only going to get better. I know it. I am also where i am in my life because of a certain friend. She has only been in my life for a very short time but we clicked almost immediately. She has helped me so much with so many different things. She has helped me learn more about myself in such a sort amount of time. I just wish she lived closer. I would be a long way away from where i am at if she wasnt here. I'm not here to change for anyone else. I am here to change for myself. Just like i would never ask anyone else to change. People have to realize it themselves and decide what is right for them. Well this is it for now. I'm tired and going to bed. =) goodnight all!

Which phrase is is more over-used?
"I love you"  -or-    "I'm sorry"

Ugh! this day upset's me...like it does most to single women around. Its kind of like what my english professor said "national single awareness day" LOL! Which it is sooo true. You see all these girls with balloons, flowers, candy, cards ect...and then here you are with...nothing. How the f*ck is that fair?? That day should really just go away. There is no real reason for it to be a "holiday". Its not like you can take the day off work or anything like that. Its all a load of Bullsh*t! Even if you are with someone why do you need a day  to show your love for that person. You can and should(if you truly do love that person) do that any day of the week, month, or year. It doesnt have to come down to Valentines day. And yes i am single but thats not why i feel the way i do about this. Even when i wasnt single i felt this way. I went year after year of disappointment on "that day" so yes it has left me bitter and changed my mind on how i feel about it. But reality is everyone should, but thats only in an ideal world. Thats my ranting and raving for the day.